In the beginning

I have no idea if I'm doing this for real. I mean, will I do this and not delete it or will I really leave it up? And the bigger question... will it help me? Is it too vain to keep a journal via blog as if anyone could actually be interested in my thoughts or opinions? If anyone were to read this, it's important that you know that I'm doing this all for me and not for you, or anyone else. What I intend to talk about is my job and how I do it and how I manage my family while I'm doing it. I want a way to reflect on my practice and thought I might try to do this by writing about it. Since I type much faster than I write but typing a journal for myself just seems a little weird I thought I would try this. I'm also, quite frankly, not interested in worrying about my grammar. Just so you know. I can't tell anyone exactly where I live I guess, and certainly not where I teach since I wouldn't want to compromise any student's or colleague's privacy.

Today what was bothering me was the beginning of the film Waiting for Superman. I admit, I haven't watched it all, but plan to remedy that during this holiday break. Honestly I don't want to watch it. I'm sick of hearing about charter schools and school choice and Michelle Rhee and Geoffrey Canada. My school is just a plain, old-fashioned, urban high school in a high-crime, high-poverty neighborhood. I'm white. My students are black. A few of them are latino. My classroom is usually packed despite the 80% attendance rate. If they all showed up one day, I don't know where I would put them. I only have 33 desks in the room. Most days I like my job. I tremendously respect the majority of my colleagues. I care about my babies there and I want them to have a great education. I am furious on their behalf that they are not getting one.

So back to the film.... In the first five minutes there's this reference to the director's choice of a private school education for his kids. He comments that despite his ideals and his belief in our public school system he drives past three public schools each morning to take his children to a private school. He says he does this because he fears taking his kids to a failing school. And I thought okay, what does that mean? How does he define failing? And I actually don't know what it means since I haven't bothered to watch the film yet, but it got my mind going. See, my daughter attends a private school. My partner drives past two public schools each morning to take her there. One of them is supposedly quite good, one of them not. But you know, I wouldn't describe my fear as being that of taking her to a failing school. My fear has nothing to do with test scores or reputation so much as it does with the way that those schools are being administered and all of the stuff that's allowed to go on in them. And that's what really scares me. The teachers at my daughter's school aren't better than those at mine. The principal isn't any better than at mine (in fact, she came from our local public school district). I live practically next to that good public school that we have to pass. It's an optional school for science and technology. Except that it's not. Not really. It's just a label. My beliefs about education just aren't epitomized by our local school board or our superintendent.

What's really different about my child's school isn't who is there. It's who is not.